Like most guys my age I was browsing porn sites the other day. I'm not a huge consumer of online porn, but I do once in a buy a membership to a paysite. What always pisses me off is that 9 out of 10 sites suck badly, have old low quality content that I've seen 100s of times already. And so, the other day I figured there's gotta be a solution to this. I clicked around here and there and finally came across a site called rabbit reviews. It's a porn site review site, just what I was looking for, it contains ratings, descriptions, of 1000s of websites in many different categories. It's probably an understatement but that site is fucking awesome, no more wasting $$ buying memberships to crappy websites.

Peek-a Poo
One little white dog , named Peekie.
Part Pekinese, part poodle. All white and all fur, fluffy. Peekapoo is what the AKC, call this breed.My real mother and her older baby, Dawne , named the puppy , Peekie.Dawne adored Peekie. She talked to that Dog from age 3 to age 15. She completely engrossed herself into the world of peekie . The beatings in the *other room* where our baby brother slept would get loud, ferocious, cruel. Dawnes world would go inside itself, a coloring book, a cat's world, a thumb in her mouth, a turtle against her cheek, a blankie over her head. Her world was silent . Very very quiet when she was young, no one heard much from her from 7-16.Shock?Maybe?The beatings were bad before that. The beatings got worse. No one will really ever know... her brain was fried by age 30. She does not function as an adult anymore, maybe she never did? She now has the mentality of an 11 year old girl, in menopause.The men that came into her life followed her life of abuse. Followed her life of sadness, followed her mind of loss.In the end..Is there an end? Not yet.. I do not know if I will see her end? She is the saddest of them all. The innocent. The baby, possibly?
sad, baby..

Today, I am really really grateful to have a pool. I wish I had central air as well! We are having a heat wave in the Boston area. Can't complain though since I swore I wouldn't after the hellish winter we experienced. And we never had spring.
This weekend, my sister is getting married. I am in the bridal party, so I will be at the rehearsal dinner and of course the wedding and the reception. I'm a little fearful of whether I will enjoy myself or not. I have always loved weddings-- I love to dance and have a good time. I wonder if the wedding will be as much fun without drinking? I've had people who have asked me whether I'm really not going to drink at the wedding, like they can't fathom anyone's doing that.
I'm trying to keep my focus on everything but the drinking. My sister's joy, the food, seeing family members I never see except at weddings and funerals. How good it will be that I won't be in an impatient hurry to get to the bar during the formal pictures. How good it will be to wake up the next day and not be hungover.
My kids are also going to be at the wedding. They are pretty excited about it although they don't want to have to dress up. They were unhappy when I laid down the law on the clothing. lol

100 bottles of beer on the wall 100 Days,lol, that means I am in the double digits now for boarding the plane. HOO-AHHH!!!!!
You know I can't wait. I say it post after post after post but I can't wait. All I dream about is curling up on the couch with my wife, playing in the yard with the kids, golfing,lol, and just having a normal day where I don't have to carry my rifle or worry about what that local is taking pictures, etc. Just one normal day is all I ask.
Yesterday my roomate came home from guard duty out at the main gate. He was a little upset. He had seen his first dead body, not just one tho, they pulled up in a pickup and had 6 dead men and one criticaly wounded in the bed of the truck. It seems they were traveling at an excesive speed and got into an accedent. All died instantly except the one. Seeing the dead is hard enough but this guy was tore up bad, his legs were on backwards from the knee down where he was thrown clear of the truck and run over by another vehicle. His arms were broke as well as what sounds like many ribs, possibly his back, neck and his skull was tore open far enough to see the brain matter. Absolutley horrific site. I must have sat up almost the entire nite listening to him talk about it. It had made him sick, and some one else had to take over for him for a bit because he had trouble dealing with it. No one is blaming him tho, it is not easy getting to the point where you can ignore it. I say ignore because you never get used to it. I hope that as long as we are here he may never have to see anything like that again.
Enough of the gross stuff. I am looking forward to going out the wire and doing my part. But I still have a lot to do before then so I will stop here and post again a little later.
till then,Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
Bertolt Brecht (1898 - 1956), The Mother, 1932
Death is a friend of ours; and he that is not ready to entertain him is not at home.

Living room of the needle in feteFollowing the small word of Blue Turtle, and has my discussions with Clo, I precise which I go to the Living room of the needle in fete saturdays for 10h, I must find my beautiful cousin there (it is the cousin of the cheri, to locate; -) ), my super cop' S Willow, with which I made exchanges sympas (+msn + mailSSSS....) but it will be the premiere time that one will see oneself For truth besides (I would see also his mom!). If there are people who want to see me, I would make a scéance dedication between 10h00 and 10h01 in front of the entry lol, ok I joke, but I would be glad to make new meetings


7 things...Thank you Laetitia!!Questionnaire of the 7 things
7 things which I can make:
to embroider not to nibble more!! to knit at the point foams and jersey (it is already not badly!!) raler to make pastry making and to reussir all my meringues!! to please to me! to hypnotize my babies
7 things which I would like to make before dying:
To have children To be thin To have Welsh corgis russet-red pembroke See the 2e season of desperate housewife See that there is a justice in the country or I live (it is beautiful of rever!) To work dimensioned at home and that the taf is also sympathetic (reve n°2) That my beautiful mother accepts me as I am (total Utopia!!!!) 7 things which attract you in the sex: